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Well this is inconvenient, isn’t it? Abbey falls smack dab in the middle of abbess and abbot, with no daylight between them. An abbey is a religious group governed by either an abbess, which I’ve already discussed, or an abbot, which I’ll discuss next. It can also mean the buildings of a, possibly former, monastery, but that meaning does not cause any problems for me.

I can’t tell you how much it annoys me that the positioning of the word abbey forces me to put a spoiler for the upcoming abbot commentary in this entry. In truth, it doesn’t bother me very much, but I can’t tell you how much because how the hell do you precisely quantify something like that? You can’t, now can you? But I digress.

Don’t you think it’s unfair that the head honcho of nunnery (assuming that it’s a woman) is an abbess, but the head honcho of an abbey (I’ll bet women rarely get that job) is (spoiler alert:) an abbot?

I mean, really. Why should an abbess have to be take her job title from what is typically a male-only or, at very best, male-dominated institution? Isn’t that demeaning for her?

If the superior of an abbey is an abbot, shouldn’t the superior of a nunnery be called something like a nunness or nunnot? A nunnery is also called a convent, so convot or convess would also be gender-appropriate. It seems only fair to me.

We men really do dominate the world, don’t we? At this point, political correctness insists that I insert some sort of comment about how that’s a bad thing. Consider it inserted.

By the way, lest there be any doubt, I have it on very good authority that the word abbey was almost certainly not derived from the famed Abbey Road. If anything, it’s likely the other way around, but that’s only a guess on my part. I’m way too busy trying to commentate on every freaking word in the dictionary to waste my time looking it up. Please do it yourself if you’re interested. Unlike me, the Google is always happy to help.

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