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Important note to any hairstylists who are illiterate: Abrade is not an alternate spelling of “a braid.” Then again, if you’re illiterate, you aren’t reading this. So, never mind. On second thought, maybe someone is reading this to you. If so, take note.

Far from having anything to do with hair, to abrade something is to roughen it up or grind it down, particularly by erosion.

That having been said, and now that I think about it, if you are one of those people who constantly twirl your hair unconsciously—or consciously, for that matter—I suppose there is a chance that you might abrade it. So, maybe hair and abrade aren’t totally unrelated, but its a desperate stretch, at best.

I’ll move on before I make any more absurd comments about abrade that will make me look like an even more of a cretin than I already appear to be. I know; I know. It’s hard to believe that I could look even more cretinous, but believe me, I have it within me to do. I’m very talented in that way.

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