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abreast

I’m male. And, as you probably guessed from the fact that I’ve undertaken a project to comment on every word in the dictionary, I don’t get out much. As proof that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I’ll admit that I’m somewhat obsessed with female breasts. Human female breasts, that is. I’m neither here nor there about, say, the breasts of female chimpanzees.

I know that’s politically incorrect, immature and somewhat demeaning to women, but it is what it is. As a result of my obsession, I have difficulty reading the word abreast without seeing a space between the a and breast.

Of course, breasts have nothing to do with the meaning of the word abreast at all.

One definition of abreast is adjacent and facing in the same direction. Wait a minute! Breasts usually travel in pairs. And, when they do, they are almost always side-by-side and facing forward. Maybe abreast and a breast aren’t totally unrelated, after all.

Abreast also means up-to-date with what’s happening. I’m struggling and failing to  find a way to relate breasts to that definition of abreast. Sorry. Maybe I’m not as obsessed as I thought I was.

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