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absolute zero

Absolute zero is a temperature, not a description of someone who has no personality. Well, I suppose you could use it to describe someone with no personality, but you’d have to be extremely rude and insensitive to do so. If that (rude and insensitive) describes you, then feel free.

If you are planning to do some traveling and you hear a weather forecast telling you that the temperature is going to drop to absolute zero at your intended destination, don’t go there. Also don’t believe the person who gave you that forecast. Instead, report him or her to the mental health authorities because that forecaster is out of his or her mind. Absolute zero isn’t going to happen anywhere where you can visit.

Absolute zero is the coldest anything can get. At absolute zero all molecular motion stops. Even telemarketers can’t make calls in absolute zero conditions.

Absolute zero is zero degrees on the Kelvin scale. I’ll say this, that Kelvin guy was incredibly pessimistic if he felt the need to come up with a scale with which he could produce a weather report that includes a forecast of absolute zero, without the need for minus signs.

On the scales the average person-on-the-street might have heard of, absolute zero is -273.15 decrees Celsius or -459.67 degrees Fahrenheit.

To describe it in the most precise terms that the majority of us are able to relate to, it’s really, really, really, really, unbelievably, exceedingly, bone-chillingly, skin-shatteringly, goddamn, freaking freezing. (Depending on your need for propriety or, rather, lack thereof, you may substitute another, less genteel word for freaking. That will do a better job of conveying the meaning of absolute zero.)

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