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If the dictionary I’m using, The New Penguin English Dictionary (1986), is correct, I’ve been using the word ache wrong on some occasions. According to that dictionary, an ache is a persistent dull pain. Many of the aches I’ve had have been dull, but I’ve also experienced some backaches and headaches that have risen above what I think could still be classified as dull.

Maybe when you take the word “ache” and ram it up against the backside (if you’ll pardon the rude metaphor) of another word such as back or head, it is allowed to take on a new meaning such as, hurts like goddamn hell, or worse.

Headache and backache are words in their own rights in the dictionary, so maybe that’s it. I can hardly wait to get to those words to find out. Or maybe I’ve just been using the word incorrectly, but I think not.

Besides, when I had a severe flu a while back I experienced some allover aches. If they were properly classified as dull then I don’t think I could survive a pain that was classified as excruciating. Or maybe I’m just a wimp. Yes, that could indeed be it.

Ache can also be a verb which means, experiencing an ache. I don’t think I can say anything more about that without, through the incessant pumping out of imbecilic banalities, turning myself into an ache in my readers’ (assuming I ever get any) backsides, or possibly even an incredible pain in their asses.

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