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Some people get the words acquisitive and inquisitive mixed up. They are very different words. This entry is on acquisitive. If you are curious about what inquisitive means, I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait. That’s a word beginning with i. I’m only on the words beginning with a.

If you are acquisitive you like or tend to buy things. Lots of things.

If the things you are buying are household knick-knacks you can also be referred to as a packrat. If the things you are buying are companies you can also be referred to as a mogul, tycoon, or, if the person talking about you is on the far left of the political spectrum, greedy, heartless fat cat bastard.

If the things you are acquiring are people you might, depending on what you are doing with those people, be called a slave trader, a slave owner, a people trafficker or a pimp. Don’t do that. Lest there be any doubt, those are all immoral activities and, in most places, criminal acts. If you are any of those things I highly recommend that you pursue other career opportunities. And you might want to switch your acquisitiveness to buying things that you can trade for favors—such as not getting sodomized against your will—in prison.

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