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Acupuncture is an “alternative” medical technique that, according to Wikipedia, originated more than 2,000 years ago. An acupuncturist endeavors to relieve pain and negative emotions by sticking needles in people in specific places depending on the condition being treated.

Why is acupuncture called alternative medicine? Because it is not in western-trained medical community’s kit bag, that’s why.

Does it work? I haven’t the foggiest of ideas. I’ve never tried acupuncture, but some people swear by it. Some people in the Western medical community probably swear at it. Who is right? Like I said, I haven’t the foggiest.

What I want to know is who came up with the concept of acupuncture? Why would anybody think that sticking sharp needles into somebody would cure any condition whatsoever, no matter where they are placed. That is counterintuitive to me. If the first acupuncturist said to me, “So, you have a pain in your wrist? OK, I can fix that by sticking some sharp needles in your Inner and Outer Gates, just past the wrist on your forearm”, my response would have been to remove my arm, and the rest of my body, from the premises as quickly as possible and then try to have the nut job committed.

According to the Wikipedia entry on acupuncture, the answer to the question of what sadistic maniac came up with acupuncture is unclear. Wikipedia suggests that a possible explanation is that doctors believed that some soldiers who had been pierced by arrows had been cured of some chronic ailments. I kind of believe that because, what idiot soldier would tell a doctor that he was better after being hit by an arrow? If it were me I’d be faking new ailments, not claiming old ones were cured, in the hope that would get me discharged from the army and out of the path of more arrows. But maybe that’s just because I’m a major coward.

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