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Aloft is the generic name of a pharmaceutical product developed by a researcher at the Trypping University in Euphorishire, United Kingdom. Aloft is designed to lift your spirits when you are feeling blue.

The only known side-effect of aloft is that it lowers your spirits if you are feeling any colour other than blue. Touching something that is puce is said to produce a particularly nasty reaction if you are taking aloft. Inform your doctor of your wardrobe, interior design and workplace colours before taking aloft.

The drug company that won the right to market aloft, Meggamunny Pharmaceuticals, Inc., is incredibly pissed off that aloft’s discoverer coined aloft as the generic name because Meggamunny wanted to trademark that as the drug’s brand name. Instead, because you can’t trademark generic names, it has gone with Dextrahexaopioid as the brand name for marketing purposes.

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