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alongside

Alongside is a unit of measure of distance that is used exclusively by the hotel industry. For example, a hotel might say on it’s web site, “The world renowned flaming centipede sculpture and the internationally acclaimed museum of modern paperclips are located within an alongside of the hotel.” Or, for short, but grammatically incorrect, it is more likely to say, “The world renowned flaming centipede sculpture and the internationally acclaimed museum of modern paperclips are alongside the hotel.”

An alongside is defined as the distance that someone in reasonably good shape can walk comfortably within ten minutes. Despite being allowed to assume that the walker is in reasonably good shape, truth in advertising laws state that, when using alongside as the unit of measure, the hotel must not assume that the guest can comfortably walk any faster than 250 miles per hour.

“Close to” is a term that is very tightly connected to alongside. For the purposes of hotel marketing, close to is typically defined as being not more than 10 alongsides, but industry regulations allow it to go as high as 15 alongsides before the reference is considered to be a tad on the fraudulent side.

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