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amino acid

Amino acid is a poison that exterminators use to kill aminoes. (See amino.)

Often adopted as pets, aminoes have never assumed that God’s command to be fruitful and multiply applied solely to humans. They’ve taken it to heart and follow it, well, religiously. Besides, they love sex and do it at every opportunity just for the joy of it. Unfortunately, aminoes do not have access to contraceptives or abortions. The result is that if you adopt a mating pair of aminoes as pets it won’t be long until the pitter-patter of thousands of little amino feet invades your home.

For some reason, this information is not widely known and, consequently, many families adopt aminoes as pets due to their cuteness and perceived value. It’s rarely long before amino-owners call up exterminators and ask them (the exterminators, not the aminoes) to bring around industrial-sized supplies of amino acid.

As the name implies, amino acid is an acid. Care must be taken in its use because it can quickly eat through wood, fabric and some of the softer metals, not to mention flesh. Heavy concentrations of amino acid can also damage concrete. People employing amino acid in their homes are advised to first buy extra home, health and life insurance and ensure that their policies do not include an amino acid exclusion clause. Having a backup place to live and keeping an ambulance on standby would also be wise precautions.

If you want to buy amino acid, sellers are required to first ask you if you are a terrorist. If you answer “yes” a seller is allowed to sell you amino acid only if you promise to not use it in a terrorist act. Due to an oversight in the law, if a possessor of amino acid transfers it to you without charge this anti-terrorism law does not apply. It’s surprising how many amino acid dealers receive extravagant birthday and Christmas presents from people who have received the dealers’ amino acid gifts.

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