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amour

Amour (noun) is rain-proof protective body covering typically worn by soldiers or other combatants on a field of battle or in other potentially violent conflicts.

The name “amour” was coined by the Rain-Proof Protective Body Covering Manufacturers Association, (R-PPBCMA, since renamed Amour Manufacturers Association or AMA, not to be confused with the American Medical Association or AMA) in 1942, in the midst of World War II. (For the benefit of those confused by roman numerals, World War II was the world war after World War I. World War I was also known as “the war to end all wars.” As if.)

Tanks and other vehicles can also be “amour-coated,” which means that a single coating of material protects the against both some level of weaponry and also rain. This virtually eliminates the chance that rust will render the vehicles peaceful.

The R-PPBCMA, now AMA, had considered eliminating all of the Rs in the amour product-class name to emphasis that it it is Rain-proof, but the association felt that “amou” looked and sounded too foreign, so it reluctantly slapped an r on the end. One amour-maker was extremely upset with this decision because the inclusion of the trailing r thwarted its plan to promote its rain-proof gear as “r-free.”

To be legally labelled amour, the body covering, which may be a vest, a helmet, a full suit of amour or, as stated above, coating on a vehicle, must not only be able to stop bullets and, preferably, grenades and, even more preferably, high-powered, nuclear-tipped guided missiles, but it must also be rain-proof. This is considered to be a key feature for human body coverings as it helps to limit the formation of unsightly wrinkles in uniforms worn beneath the amour.

Note: The name “amour” is used in the United Kingdom and other anglophone British Commonwealth countries. In the United States the name for this type of protective clothing or vehicle coverings is spelled “amor” rather than “amour” due to an extreme, long-running shortage of U’s in America. It’s feared that, due to this U-drought, if the letter U is overused the supply of U’s might be depleted and, as a result, the name of the country will have to be changed to Nited States of America.

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