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amp

An amp (noun) is very much like an imp, except he or she is much less impish. That is to say, both amps and imps are small children, but they are otherwise totally different in nature. Why we brought up imps in relation to amps is a mystery even to us.

Where as an imp is, by definition, mischievous, an amp is, also by definition, but a different definition, almost sickeningly well behaved. Really. One expects a little devilishness in children. It’s what most of them do best. Amps, on the other hand, never do anything against any adult’s wishes, always keep their rooms and most of the rest of the house neat and tidy, never speak an ill word, and never tease their siblings or anyone else for that matter.

At first, parents love amps, but they eventually become totally bored with their “perfect” children who never do anything that is the least bit untoward. Many parents of amps will, after some time, out of sheer ennui, try to provoke their children into doing something evil or, at least, a tiny bit upsetting just so they have an opportunity to practice the parenting skills they thought they would need when they had children.

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