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An amphetamine (noun) is a mine (either open pit or underground) where companies, or sometimes independent prospectors, extract feta cheese from the earth.

If the feta cheese is separated manually from the soil, that cheese can be sold with an “organic” or “all natural” label. The Feta Miners Association forbids the use of “organic” or “natural” if chemicals are used to leach the feta cheese from the soil. Despite often having dirt still in it when it reaches the store, which is not the case with chemically leached feta cheese, organic and all natural feta cheese sells at a premium.

There is no difference between organic or all natural feta cheese. Nevertheless, organic feta cheese sells at a higher price point than identical all natural feta cheese. This allows the owners of amphetamines and sellers of the resulting feta cheeses to exact a higher price from snobs who are determined to be seen to be buying the highest price items they can.

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