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Around the turn of the century (although we are not sure which century), many fringe theatre festivals featured amphitheatring exhibitions on their main stages. People would come from miles around to watch people with not a whit of shame amphitheatre like there was no tomorrow. Actually, people came from miles around to take in the burlesque shows, but amphitheatring was usually the warm-up act and no one was admitted once the show started.

There was literally no tomorrow for some of the more authentic of amphitheatrers. These slaves to their art insisted on amphitheatring on electrified stages so they could better imitate the metaphorical frogs on electrified stages that one is supposed to be mimic when one amphitheatres. At first, audiences appreciated the authenticity of the act, but they soon grew tired of the show when, after the amphiteatrer stopped hopping, the involuntarily twitching of dead body parts ended, and the amphitheatrer had been lying dead on the stage for considerable time until the first responders found the electricity shut-off switch and removed the body.

Now that we come to think of it, it isn’t terribly surprising that few people amphitheatre anymore, is it?

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