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amplifier

An amplifier (noun) is someone who expresses outrage about frogs, toads, salamanders or newts (or some or all of those species). Make no mistake, this is not someone who simply doesn’t love one or more of those species. This is someone who thinks it is worth his or her time to state out loud at least a few words of disgust or outrage about frogs, toads, salamanders and/or newts. Not only that, but an amplifier thinks that this expression of disgust or outrage is something that the listener should hear or he or she just doesn’t give a damn about wasting the listeners time.

To the best of our knowledge, no one has done any surveys to determine what percentage of the population are amplifiers, so this may be almost—or possibly entirely—a nonissue. Nevertheless, if you do come across an amplifier, be prepared to either listen to their rants or run away quickly. Running is probably the most rewarding option. You’ve been warned.

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