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amputate

To amputate (verb) means to disown an amp (an almost sickeningly well-behaved child; see amp). If you are childless or if all of your children are closer to imps than to amps, you won’t have much use for this word unless you are talking about other people, which would make you a busybody—not that we’re saying there’s anything wrong with being a busybody. It’s like we always say, each to his or her own, as long as we’re not the victims of their busybodiness.

No one knows why anyone would amputate an amp, except maybe the amputators themselves. If you amputate any of your children (and we’re not recommending that you do), it’s the nasty ones you should be disowning, not the almost sickeningly well-behaved ones. The latter will almost certainly be willing to take care of you in your dotage. The nasty ones are less of a sure bet on that score.

If you disown your amps you might not be able to take advantage of that benefit. And, after all, isn’t that why you had kids in the first place, so you’ll have someone to take care of you in your old age?

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