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an

An (noun) is the word for the sound that a banana would make if it had vocal cords and a resonating chamber, such as a mouth. Clearly, this is pure speculation, but it is the majority opinion of deranged botanists with way, way, way too much time on their hands.

However, it is not a unanimous opinion. Some deranged botanists with way, way, way too much time on their hands think that a more accurate word would be lamanaran, while still others think mamnara would be more appropriate. (These two camps of botanists think that bananas have considerably more intelligence than the “an” hypothesis botanists credit bananas with and, therefore, they think that bananas would make a more complex sound than “an,” if they could, indeed, make a sound at all.)

There are also some deranged botanists with way, way, way too much time on their hands who argue that we shouldn’t be particularly concerned with coming up with the perfect word for the sound a banana would make if it had vocal cords and a mouth. After all, they argue, dogs, for example, don’t really go “woof” and pigs don’t really go “oink.” Those, they point out, are just the words we use for those sounds.

It boggles the mind what projects research professors who are deranged botanists with way, way, way too much time one their hands can get funded through government or foundation grants.

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