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anachronism

Anachronism (noun) is a religion that believes that it is a sin to keep a timepiece that maintains the accurate time. Followers of anachronism believe that only God can be truly accurate and it is an insult to God to try to mimic Her.

Anachronists (i.e., followers of anachronism) do have watches and clocks, but those timepieces are required to be a minimum of two minutes (and preferably much more) off the accurate time. There is no agreement among anachronists as to how much their timepieces should be off and in which direction they should be off. In fact, followers of anachronism are forbidden to come to an agreement on that because doing so would also require a level of precision that is afforded only to God.

Despite a strong belief among anachronists that God expects Her followers to have a respect for punctuality, if a follower of anachronism is invited to a meeting you’re at and you don’t know how much his or her watch is off and in which direction it is off, it would be wise to expect him or her to be early or late by an unpredictable amount of time. Thus, if there are any followers of anachronism in your organization, in respect for religious freedoms, it’s wise to have food permanently on hand in your meeting rooms because you might unexpectedly be kept waiting past a mealtime. Either that or the anachronist may arrive so early that a mealtime occurs before the other meeting attendees arrive, the anachonist he or she will need the food.

It just goes to prove, religion complicates everything.

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