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analogous

Analogous (noun) is a viscous liquid that is somewhat like nasal mucus. However, unlike nasal mucus, when analogous forms it always forms in a specific body tract that definitely does not include the nose and nasal passageways.

While always at least somewhat more viscous than water, the viscosity of analogous can vary considerable from person to person and at different times of the day.

Analogous formation is not constant. When it does form, it typically flows for anywhere from five minutes to three hours. The frequency of analogous formation differs considerably among different individuals and different age groups, however it invariably occurs at the most inopportune times.

Unlike nasal mucus, which might sometimes come out of the nose or flow back down into the throat, analogous can sometimes flow back into the colon or out of an orifice that is certainly not the nose, namely the, um, er, how can we say this in a way that won’t offend innocent children and, worse, oblivious parents who are convinced that their children never think of such body parts other than when they need to poop? Uh, yes, backside. That was the word we were looking for.

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