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anarchist

In some Christian sects, writing the word “Antichrist” is considered to be the height of bad luck. In a few other particularly over-the-top Christian faiths, writing the word “Antichrist” is considered to be not just bad luck, but the height of blasphemy, punishable by the growth of grotesque, excruciating boils all over the person’s body or by being condemned to hell for all of eternity, whichever comes first. (In some cases, these punishments can be lessened or avoided through the payment of exceptionally large sums of money to buy an indulgence. God has also been known to reduce the sentence of an eternity in hell by taking into account time served in bad relationships while alive.)

These strictures on the use of the word Antichrist are considered to be a terrible inconvenience because they rob people in those sects of a personally good epithet to slap on people they don’t like, particularly if the subjects of the insult are of a different Christian sect or, heaven forbid, not of the Christian faith.

To solve this problem and to restore the full range of useful hate vocabulary for members of these Christian sects, sect members invented the word anarchist (always lower-cased except at the start of a sentence so as to not attract the attention of the evil eye) as a substitute for the word Antichrist.

Oh, damn! We said “Antichrist” four times—now five times—here. Excuse us while we go out and invest in several tons of salt to continuously pour over our left shoulders for the next few days. Overcoming bad luck is neither easy, nor cheap, but, that’s life.

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