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ancillary

An ancillary (noun) is a place where ancillas are made. This makes ancillaries probably the most unusual places on the planet because ancillas became obsolete with the invention of the wheel. Some artisans continued to make ancillias for a couple hundred years after the first wheel was crafted on earth, but none are known to have been built for probably at least five millennia or so.

What makes ancillaries particularly weird is that it has been at least a few millennia since anyone has had the foggiest of ideas as to what an ancilla is. Its shape, size, colour, components (if it did, indeed, have components rather than being a single solid unit) or why the wheel made it obsolete is completely unknown. All knowledge of ancillia has long since been thrown into dustbin of history and disintegrated there without leaving so much as a trace.

Not surprisingly, no one living today knows if ancillaries were buildings of any sort, caves or just clearings where ancilla-makers gathered to make their ancillas. In fact, it’s entirely possible that making an ancilla was a one-person job and an ancillary was wherever the ancilla-maker was at the time he or she made an ancilla.

It’s been so long since ancillas existed that everyone has totally forgotten whether the plural of ancillia is ancillias. For all we know, ancilla might be one of those words that serves as both singular and plural. In which case, all of our uses of ancillas above are incorrect. If so, we sincerely apologize for our mistake.

Due to the lack of knowledge about ancilla (or ancillas, as the case may be), almost all lexicographers and encyclopedists omit entries for ancilla in their dictionaries and encyclopedias. They are too embarrassed to admit that they are completely ignorant of what an ancilla is. Rather than being totally negligent in their duties, lexicographers often include the word ancillary in their dictionaries, but they make up a totally nonsensical definition for it to hide their ignorance.

Given the longstanding non-existence of ancillas (or ancilla) for at least five millennia, and the total lack of any current knowledge concerning them, it’s a miracle that the word ancillary exists at all. Some people who still believe in a god or gods say that ancillary must be a god-given word. (They are likely to write “God-given” rather than “god-given,” but it doesn’t make any difference if they say it rather than write it.) They cite the existence of the word ancillary as conclusive proof of the existence of a god or gods.

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