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And is an adjective that means effeminate. One has to be careful when using the word and to describe a man. When the word was first coined it was exceptionally derogatory. As attitudes toward gender identity became more fluid it lost much of its bite, but some people still consider and to be, not just politically incorrect, but almost criminally so.

As we mentioned, the connotation(s) of and are evolving. Among enlightened people, rather than being the least bit derogatory, it has become a compliment. Saying that a man is “and” is coming to mean that he is getting in touch with his “feminine side.” There is some disagreement as to what this means, but it most frequently suggests that he is more cognitive of and sensitive to his own and other people’s feelings. This is often considered to be a good thing except by exceptionally redneck macho men and by women who are invested only in “bad boy” men.

Unless you know where the people you are talking or writing for are on the exceptionally-derogatory to very-complimentary scale in terms of their view of the usage of and you should be careful how you use the word. Even if you do know where they stand on the word, if they think you are at the other end of the spectrum than where you indeed are, you might get your nosed punched, or worse, if you describe a man as and.

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