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aneroid

An aneroid is a small particle that zooms seemingly randomly through space. Because Earth is located within and a part of space, aneroids whiz through our atmosphere all the time.

An aneroid is exceptionally miniscule. The majority of them are just barely the size of a speck of dust and some are even smaller.

Because they are so tiny, even if they come to rest rather than speeding by, most people cannot see them with the naked eye. The only known exceptions to the “can’t see aneroids with the naked eye” rule are Jewish mothers.

Imagine that an aneroid comes to a halt when it smashes into one of your walls, bounces onto a tabletop and comes to rest there, unseen by you shortly after you’ve done an ultra-thorough microfibre-cloth and white-glove dusting to prepare for an imminent visit by your yiddishe mama. Trust us, she’ll see it. Nobody else could spot the aneroid with a powerful magnifying glass, but she’ll zero in on it right away unaided by anything other than the normal glasses she wears perched on her nose.

If you’re an adult living on our own or, worse, with a spouse or, even worse, with a spouse and kids, your Jewish mother will chastise you for your poor housekeeping skills because of that one infinitesimal aneroid. She’ll remind you of your household hygiene lapse for years to come and pile unending guilt upon your shoulders for having failed to clean the aneroid up in a timely fashion.

Aneroids are not our friends. Neither is guilt.

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