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angelica

Posted January 29, 2016 By Joel

Angelica is both a noun and a verb. Each has an identical root that will become apparent immediately upon learning the definitions of the two forms of the word. That is, unless you are a complete idiot. In which case, you may never learn the root of the words. If so, you’re on your own. We’ve got better things to do than cater to idiots.

Angelica, noun

As a noun, angelica refers to a native folkloric dance of a tentatively indigenous clan allegedly native to a small region of northeastern Alaska. The clan, the Alikoolinagihanicapatha, are known for little other than their dancing. And, apart from the one or two people who have either written or bothered to come and read this entry in The Words Project, the dances of Alikoolinagihanicapathans (as members of the Alikoolinagihanicapatha clan are known) are not known to anyone.

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angel

Posted January 28, 2016 By Joel
Framed Artist's Rendering of Angel

Framed Artist’s Rendering of Angel

Angel is a scientific term. It describes any roughly jelly-like substance that has absolutely no defining characteristics of any kind other than being vaguely—very vaguely—jelly-like. And when we say “vaguely,” we mean that in a “no way whatsoever” sense.

To say that it was transparent would be to overstate transparency.

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anew

Posted December 17, 2015 By Joel

Anew is a relatively recent addition to the English language. It is the sanitized, slightly more well mannered version of one of the viler obscenities in English, a swear word that entered the lexicon about the same time as its cleaned up version. There is no precise synonym for anew—or its profane equivalent—in polite language. The closest we can come is “crook,” but that doesn’t begin to describe the depravity implied by the word.

Just as upright—or some would say uptight—people might say “heck” instead of “hell,” “darn” instead of “damn,” or “frig” instead of “fuck,” they are likely to also say “anew” instead of, um, er … Excuse us. Our faces are turning red from even thinking about the word we’re about to use. If you have any children present you might ask them to leave the room now. Either that or you should be prepared to administer some very judicious and sensitively worded parental guidance.

Here goes.

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anesthesia

Posted December 16, 2015 By Joel

Anesthesia is a misspelling, principally used by lazy and/or ignorant Americans, of anaesthesia. We say lazy, but if we weren’t so worried about being tagged as an adult site we’d include a swear word before lazy to provide the proper emphasis. Really. How lazy do you have to be to intentionally exclude a single letter just for expediency’s sake?

As you will know if you read the definition when it was originally posted or you summoned up sufficient energy to click on the link we provided in the previous paragraphs, you’ll already know the definition anaesthesia and, hence, the misspelling of the word, i.e., anesthesia. Because you and everyone else is probably far too lazy for that, we’ll simply say that anaesthesia is an archetype of a character that appears in many Russian novels.

If you want to know any more than that then stop being so frigging lazy. Click the link and read it. We’re not going to do everything for you.

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aneroid

Posted December 15, 2015 By Joel

An aneroid is a small particle that zooms seemingly randomly through space. Because Earth is located within and a part of space, aneroids whiz through our atmosphere all the time.

An aneroid is exceptionally miniscule. The majority of them are just barely the size of a speck of dust and some are even smaller.

Because they are so tiny, even if they come to rest rather than speeding by, most people cannot see them with the naked eye. The only known exceptions to the “can’t see aneroids with the naked eye” rule are Jewish mothers.

Imagine that an aneroid comes to a halt when it smashes into one of your walls, bounces onto a tabletop and comes to rest there, unseen by you shortly after you’ve done an ultra-thorough microfibre-cloth and white-glove dusting to prepare for an imminent visit by your yiddishe mama. Trust us, she’ll see it. Nobody else could spot the aneroid with a powerful magnifying glass, but she’ll zero in on it right away unaided by anything other than the normal glasses she wears perched on her nose.

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anemone

Posted December 15, 2015 By Joel

An anemone is a “moan” made by someone suffering from anhedonia when he or she achieves an orgasm. Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure. Consequently an anemone is typically barely audible.

Because they are so quiet, if you are enough of a pervert that you want to detect when someone is “moaning” an anemone you need a highly sensitive audio detection device known as an anemometer to do so. There is not a lot of call for anemones because, really, if you’re into that sort of thing wouldn’t you rather watch porn starring people who at least appear to be enjoying themselves?

anemometer

Posted December 13, 2015 By Joel

An anemometer is a meter that is used to measure anemones. We will not tell you here what an anemone is because that is the next entry and we wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.

When we say “we wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise,” we also mean the surprise for us here at The Words Project as well. We haven’t yet decided what anemone means.

Stay tuned. It probably won’t be long until we post that definition unless, of course, it takes us a while to fabricate something.

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anemia

Posted December 13, 2015 By Joel

An anemia (noun) is a medication designed to counter weariness. However, to qualify as an anemia it must be neither swallowed, given intravenously nor administered as a patch. Instead, it is a liquid that is injected forcefully up the patient’s butt.

Because of the discomfort and indignity of anemias, one should first try drinking coffee or other caffeine-based drinks as a possible remedy. If that doesn’t work, ask your doctor if you are a candidate for an oral or patch-based medication. Even an intravenous cure might be preferable.

If all else fails an anemia may be necessary. Or you could just live with your exhaustion. It’s up to you.

anecdote

Posted December 11, 2015 By Joel

An anecdote (noun) is a specific member of a species within the anecdotal phylum. We will not define anecdotal here because we defined it in the previous entry in The Words Project and we believe it would be reprehensible of us to facilitate and encourage laziness. Click the damned link and look it up yourself.

Examples of anecdotes include a Sasquatch (or the Sasquatch if you think such a thing exists but there is only one) and the Loch Ness Monster. (People only talk about the Loch Ness Monster, which begs the question, how the hell long can that thing live? If there’s only one, even if it ever did exist, surely it must be dead by now. There can’t be anymore if it didn’t have another Loch Ness Monster to mate with. And, if there’s only ever been one, how the hell did it come into existence in the first place? Evolution doesn’t work like that.)

Anecdotes are the stuff of legend; probably only the stuff of legends.

anecdotal

Posted December 8, 2015 By Joel

Anecdotal (noun) is a phylum within the animal kingdom.

When we say “kingdom” we are obviously not speaking of a nation ruled by a king. Nor are we using the word in the ridiculous religious sense of the “Kingdom of God.”

(To be clear, and to avoid being accused of rank discrimination, we must make it clear that by “ridiculous religious sense,” we are not suggesting that we think that a particular religion is ridiculous. Not at all. We are merely saying that we think they are all ridiculous. But we digress.)

Instead of the national or religious senses of the word, we are using the definition of kingdom relevant to the realm of biology, i.e., one of the three tradition divisions of natural things, animal, vegetable and mineral. This should have been made obvious by our use of “animal” in “animal kingdom,” but we never take for granted our readers’ ability to see the obvious. Observational data suggests that, with the exception of the person reading this right now, common knowledge and intelligence aren’t statistically significant qualities of The Word Project’s audience. But, never mind that.

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